Prince Charming: Not for Me.

I wrote this ages ago but figured I'd post it ... some things have changed, others haven't:

I always used to believe Prince Charming would be the one to sweep me off of my feet. He'd be kind, loving, generous, considerate, and, of course, handsome. However, with a thorough contemplation on this topic, I have come to realize something: the typical Disney-based notion of Prince Charming is not real, nor is it realistic. (I know, I should've realized this before, right?)

Prince Charming is nothing but a figment of the imagination; no one is flawless or perfect. No one is kind, generous, loving, and considerate without a fault or vice of some sort. Unfortunately, people everywhere hang on to that ridiculous notion and dream of Prince Charming finally coming to sweep them off their feet and ride off into the sunset on his majestic white steed. Now, there are those who claim to have found their very own Prince Charming: flaws and all.

I say: Good for them but it's not for me. I don't want to be swept off my feet for my head to be in the clouds, I want to be pushed down by the sheer intensity of our feelings combined. I don't want the happy, open, gift-giving, and proud man. I want the almost silent (perhaps surly) proud man. I want the challenge of opening him up to me, I want to have to earn his trust, to know his secrets, thoughts, and emotions. I don't want him to remember silly events, and "month" anniversaries and give elaborate gifts for these events. That way, when he does remember or does give me something it'll be all the more special.

I don't want to see him smile or hear him laugh all the time so that when he does, I can treasure it all the more. I want him to be guarded and proud, not spewing random facts about himself, at least at first. I want the chance to break down those barriers and understand him the way no one else has before. I want to have to fight for his love, even if the only opponent is himself.

No, my type of guy isn't the "bad boy" type but he's certainly not Prince Charming either. Beneath the surface, Prince Charming may very well be a genuine jerk, an abuser - either physically or emotionally. Beneath my type of guy is someone who has experienced some of the harsh conditions of the world and consequently wants to love and be loved, wholly and unconditionally. Maybe I'll never actually find my "ideal" guy and fall for someone who is totally different, but one thing I do know: he won't be Prince Charming and I won't be swept off my feet. If he is Prince Charming and I am swept away, then something will be terribly wrong and he will not be the one I love.

He will not have a name to be classified by but he will knock me down and be there to cushion my fall.