I only said it 'cause I mean it,
I only mean it 'cause it's true.
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming ...
(I know ... this is the second time I've posted this song, that's just how much I love it)
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Quotable IIa.
(I know ... this is the second time I've posted this song, that's just how much I love it)
Walk With Me.
... as I stroll down memory lane.
I was looking through the scrapbook I made after my high school graduation and realized just how much I miss that time in my life. I miss the excitement of finally graduating from mandatory schooling, the anticipation of getting to walk the stage and receive my diploma, the anxiety of not wanting to trip while walking the stage, the excitement of seeing everyone in their ballgowns and dresses and tuxes for the banquet. (Let's face it, what girl doesn't miss getting her hair done and a manicure/pedicure, and being completely pampered?)
Most of all, I miss the company. Graduation brought everyone together and despite the stupid fights, disagreements, and differences, everyone was friends that night. I miss sitting in close proximity to my peers as we sat through the mass at the church and the convocation rights and dancing in a huge group during the banquet.
I miss how uniform we all looked in the graduation gowns and stoles. I miss how gorgeous all the girls looked in their gowns and dresses. I miss how dashing the guys looked in their tuxedos and suits (they all cleaned up really well! ;) ). I miss the flash of all the cameras and the rushing around to get a picture with someone else/another group.
I've realized that I'm not on good terms with a lot of people that I shared those three days with, two years ago. We've either had fights or have just drifted apart. In any case, despite the fact I may not be friends with these people anymore, I cannot deny that they played definite roles in shaping who I am today. I cannot ignore the fact that they were in my life and even if I hate or dislike them now, at one point, I did like them and enjoy their company. I don't want this people in my life again but it's important to acknowledge the fact that they were in my life and part of my history. We're not friends anymore for a reason but once upon a time, we were and I liked that.
That's life.
I was looking through the scrapbook I made after my high school graduation and realized just how much I miss that time in my life. I miss the excitement of finally graduating from mandatory schooling, the anticipation of getting to walk the stage and receive my diploma, the anxiety of not wanting to trip while walking the stage, the excitement of seeing everyone in their ballgowns and dresses and tuxes for the banquet. (Let's face it, what girl doesn't miss getting her hair done and a manicure/pedicure, and being completely pampered?)
Most of all, I miss the company. Graduation brought everyone together and despite the stupid fights, disagreements, and differences, everyone was friends that night. I miss sitting in close proximity to my peers as we sat through the mass at the church and the convocation rights and dancing in a huge group during the banquet.
I miss how uniform we all looked in the graduation gowns and stoles. I miss how gorgeous all the girls looked in their gowns and dresses. I miss how dashing the guys looked in their tuxedos and suits (they all cleaned up really well! ;) ). I miss the flash of all the cameras and the rushing around to get a picture with someone else/another group.
I've realized that I'm not on good terms with a lot of people that I shared those three days with, two years ago. We've either had fights or have just drifted apart. In any case, despite the fact I may not be friends with these people anymore, I cannot deny that they played definite roles in shaping who I am today. I cannot ignore the fact that they were in my life and even if I hate or dislike them now, at one point, I did like them and enjoy their company. I don't want this people in my life again but it's important to acknowledge the fact that they were in my life and part of my history. We're not friends anymore for a reason but once upon a time, we were and I liked that.
That's life.
Quotable II.
This could be good, it's already better than that.
And nothing's worse than knowing you're holding back.
I could be all that you needed if you let me try.
Terrified - Kara Dioguardi and Jason Reeves
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Fearless.
Right now I am at a place in my life where I am comfortable. Everything feels natural. Everything is just falling into place. I have so much control yet I have none at the same time. I don't mind. I am perfectly content to just let everything happen the way it's meant to happen.
This is something entirely different.
I feel entirely natural with my emotions, which rarely happens. I completely understand how I feel and why I feel. I am happy in my own skin. I am happy with the way life is going at the moment. I am pursuing my happiness.
I am not alone.
It's about trust, openness, acceptance, a bit of mystery, parts of the past, and the ability to move forward. It's about taking chances, asking questions, and understanding. It's about the jokes, the laughter, the knowing stares ... a routine. It's about growth.
I am in a good place. Of course, it didn't come without certain obstacles. I had to deal with my tumultuous and over-analytical thoughts. I had to learn to face my fears: fears of ruining a good thing, fears of truly letting myself live, fears of success. I still have some fears but they're only minor. For this moment, I feel fearless.
But I am what I am, and I am what I am afraid of. Oh what am I afraid of? I need a fearless love, don't need to fear the end. If you can't hold me now, you will never hold me again. I want to life my life pursuing my happiness. I want a fearless love, I won't settle for anything less.
<3
This is something entirely different.
I feel entirely natural with my emotions, which rarely happens. I completely understand how I feel and why I feel. I am happy in my own skin. I am happy with the way life is going at the moment. I am pursuing my happiness.
I am not alone.
It's about trust, openness, acceptance, a bit of mystery, parts of the past, and the ability to move forward. It's about taking chances, asking questions, and understanding. It's about the jokes, the laughter, the knowing stares ... a routine. It's about growth.
I am in a good place. Of course, it didn't come without certain obstacles. I had to deal with my tumultuous and over-analytical thoughts. I had to learn to face my fears: fears of ruining a good thing, fears of truly letting myself live, fears of success. I still have some fears but they're only minor. For this moment, I feel fearless.
But I am what I am, and I am what I am afraid of. Oh what am I afraid of? I need a fearless love, don't need to fear the end. If you can't hold me now, you will never hold me again. I want to life my life pursuing my happiness. I want a fearless love, I won't settle for anything less.
<3
Saturday, May 1, 2010
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