Where Is My Mind?

On the verge of a mental breakdown from all the things I have to get done, so I figured this was as good a time as any to post a rant.  Not entirely related to my current stressors, but I need to get it out anyway.

I am so sick of people telling me how I feel and why I feel that way.  Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were inside my mind and sifting through all my emotions and completely aware of the reasons these emotions are manifesting.  I'll feel however I want to feel for as long as I want, and until I feel the need to not feel that way anymore.  I'll feel however I want to feel for the reasons that are there and make sense to me.  And please don't tell me how I should feel, because last I checked, the only person who could control that was me, and sometimes even I cannot control it.  Don't tell me to get over something because it's what you perceive to be the wrong.  Don't tell me to calm down or relax because the only purpose that serves is to rile me up further.  Believe it or not, I am fully capable of self-regulation.

If there is one thing about me that is consistent, it's my passion.  When I feel something, it's pretty much the only thing I do feel.  I even do apathy passionately.  It's not necessarily healthy, but I will admit that at times passion can bleed into obsession.  I get stuck.  However, as I mentioned already, I can self-regulate, it just takes me some time.  Call it delayed reaction or whatever, you may even call it obsession or just plain old crazy for holding onto certain feelings for so long, but that's me and people just have to acknowledge that.

I feel how I feel because that's how I react to whatever is going on.  I feel how I feel because hormones once a month.  I feel how I feel because that's how my brain is wired.  I feel how I feel because sometimes I care too much.  I feel how I feel because I'd much rather be sad or angry or crazy than feel nothing at all. 

I feel how I feel because it is what it is.

So maybe take some of your own advice, and get over it.

Pardon the excessive use of the word 'feel' in this entry.