Giving Up On You.

Whenever I plan something, I try to make it so that the most people are accommodated.  Whenever I don't plan something, I don't seem to get the same courtesy.  There's a set date and time already, but one friend says they can't make it, so a new date gets chosen.  I can't make the new date, nothing changes.  And it's always that same friend that gets heaven and earth moved for them (it's driving me crazy using the plural pronoun for a singular person, but I'm trying to be sort of objective here) and that just irks me to no end.  Plans change, arrangements for rides and other details are made, people go out of their way for this friend ... 

Always happens.

But strangely, I'm used to it.  It irritates the fuck out of me, but I'm used to it.  I'm used to being blown off.  I'm used to being told I live too far away.  I'm used to being left out of plans entirely.  I'm used to having to be self-reliant in getting anywhere.  I'm used to not getting ride offers.  I'm used to being told that the plans "can't" change if I can't make it.  I'm used to telling people, "It's okay, you guys go have fun.  If that date works better for everyone else, I don't mind."

I shouldn't be used to that.

I shouldn't have to compromise that much.  I shouldn't have to concede so far that it's not even a compromise anymore, that's me giving in entirely.

Makes me re-evaluate all of my friendships entirely.