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I was checking out at Walmart this afternoon.  The cashier was a slightly older gentleman; I've never encountered him before, but my mom has and he's constantly asking people how their days are going and just being generally friendly, which, in all honesty, is pretty rare these days.  After he asked me if I wanted to sign up for a mastercard (which I politely declined) and if I wanted to donate $1 to the Breakfast Clubs of Canada (which I did), the following ensued:

Him: I'm sorry, one more question.
Me: Oh ... Ookay?
Him: What was the highest point of your day?
Me: Oh, uhh, I guess I had a really great day at work.  What was yours?

He then proceeded to tell me that the highest point of his day was that he got to write his own obituary.  I laughed and told him that I didn't think very many people would think that that was the highest point of their day.  He asked me who better to write your obituary than yourself, then told me that whether or not his wife decided to use it was an entirely different issue.  I then replied that hopefully he wouldn't actually need said obituary for a long while yet.

I just thought I'd share this funny little story as it definitely brightened my day.

Considering the Monday I had, today was brilliant.  (I stupidly locked my keys in my car yesterday while the weather was at its worst with respect to the cold and blowing snow ... fortunately my mom was able to come right away and bring her set of keys.)

I figure I should also share that I got to watch the likes of Lisa La Touche, Tasha Lawson, Danny Nielsen, Katelyn Harris, and Max Pollak dance on Friday night, then take master classes with Tasha and Max on Sunday.  I highly suggest looking up Max Pollak's rumba tap on youtube.  Seriously.

I know how to rumba and I know how to tap, but putting them together? I couldn't.  I'll save you the trouble of looking up the first video ... enjoy!

Things Discovered.

When having a mental breakdown while getting ready for work, blow drying hair is an effective way to stop crying. All your sinuses hurt when you flip your head upside down. Huh.

Alone in the Dark of Night.

In desperate need of Wednesday afternoon to arrive. Desperate.  Silence is too noisy. I'm not sure how much more I can take.

I Need Something, But I Get Nothing.

Listening to Grace Potter and The Nocturnals and gorging myself on ice cream tonight.  This, sad to say, is my life right now.

I've been experiencing a low phase in my current dichotomy of emotions for the past few days.  Suffice to say, I'd love to just sleep my life away right now.  Hardly anything can hold my attention or spark a lasting interest.  I mean, yesterday I received the three song books I ordered off of Amazon last week, sat myself at my piano, and within a half hour I'd completely lost interest in learning the songs I had been anticipating to do.  I can't even motivate myself to go to the gym, it's been two weeks and despite how awful I feel about myself, I just can't.

Indulged in a bit of retail therapy with my mom yesterday afternoon.  Managed to score a leather jacket (because you absolutely cannot resist buying a $300 jacket for only $60, you'd be insane not to take the deal), a pair of kick-ass high heeled boots I've been craving since November.  I did my nails and actually put a lot of effort into the nail art last night in an effort to make myself feel, well, something.  Unfortunately, I'm not sure I actually like the design I did so it was a bit of a failed attempt.  Aside from feeling slight satisfaction in my purchases and actually making my nails look a little fancier than usual, nothing.

It really sucks having, really, only two emotions ... okay, three consistently.  Numb, depression, rage.  Happiness is only ephemeral and happens, pretty much, just in the company of my child clients at work.  One of the many things I am thankful for with my current occupation - children are just inherently happy and it's contagious.  Unfortunately, the effects, for me, wear off the moment I'm back in my car.

I guess I'm praying for a miracle to happen and to make me feel a much wider range of emotions as of yesterday, but I know that's impossible.  I'm hoping this coming week will get me out of my funk, even if it is just temporary.  In all honesty, my entire life right now is just full of "temporaries," I'm really not counting on any "permanents" - now that would be wishful thinking.

How Dare You Say My Behavior's Unacceptable.

At first I thought it was just misplaced rage caused by an irrational train of thought.  Now, I realize I haven't been entirely irrational.  The more I reflect on it, the more it's justified ... and for once, it's not just me and my topsy turvy mind.