I'm so sick of being fine one week and not the next. I'm sick of getting so angry at every little thing. I'm sick of this house, living with my parents, this city ... being utterly alone.
I think being alone somewhere else would be better than being alone in familiar territory. At least I could explore to distract myself. I technically could explore this city, but it holds too many reminders and makes me feel more lonely.
If I could wipe my memory clean I would and start over. I don't think anyone realizes just how much I mean that. I want a new name, a new life. I'm sick of being sad and angry. I want to forget about the stupid boy who broke my heart. (I mean preferably, I'd like to be loved again, but that's not happening ... ever.) I'm sick of waiting for that text that I'm pretty sure will never come.
I'm so sick of checking my phone at the end of everyday and not having any missed calls or texts waiting for a response ... from anyone. It's kind of like "Friends? What are those?" Even if I text first, it's not like I get a reply back most of the time anyway. Besides, they're all busy with school - who has time for a nuisance like me? My ex (I hate calling him that ...) used to tell me I asked too much of him for always texting or calling when I knew he was busy. I'd rather not be a pest to my friends too. What's the point of having a phone anymore?
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