These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes.

Pros:

Finding potential places to live fairly easily. Back working with people I love and in an environment that is a great fit. Sunshine. Heat. Open communication. Strong feelings. Meeting great people. Coffee. Cute children at work. Laughter. Teasing banter. Carefree. Expressing creativity. Certainty. Responsibility. Hope. Fun. Dance. Support. Temporary happiness. Success. Feeling appreciated and accomplished.

Cons:

Mom rushed to ER. Boyfriend sick therefore tired therefore cranky therefore anti-social. Friends out of town for work, school, vacation. Don't want to be a bother by texting. Misunderstandings. Closed communication. Strong feelings. Leaving. Tears. Guilt. Worry. Overthinking. Wondering. Questioning. What if. Coffee. Doubt. Bad habits. Criticism. Anger. Feeling underestimated. Busy. Schedules. Distance. Guessing. Uncertainty. Responsibility. Stress. Fear. Terror. Helplessness. 

It Ain't Right If You Ain't Lost Your Mind.

Upset.  Arguments.  Cheering up.  Term papers.  Caffeine.  Confusion.  Stress.  Caffeine.  Caffeine.  Pigging out.  Passing out.  Zumba.  Strange faces.  Leather.  Broken appliances.  Pissed off.  Disapproving glares.  Arguments.  Arguments.  Arguments.  Tension.  Annoyed.  Irritated.  Fucking crazy.  Light-hearted.  Smiles.  Laughter.  Late nights.  Exhaustion.  Slight inebriation.  Moderate inebriation.  Rambling.  Random.  Open.  Waxing poetic.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.

Can Only Let You Down.

Sleepless. Disappointment. Guilt. Need. Irritation. Frustration. Ridiculous. Unjustified. Unclear. Irrational. Stupid. Compensate? Idea. Impossible. Idea. Potential. Idea. Definite. Idea. Hopefully. Sad. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Faultless. Still sad. Ugh.

Ain't Got the Time.

Anxiety. Anger. Frustration.  Irritation. Annoyance. Exhaustion. Yelling.  Slamming doors. Whiskey fueled ridiculousness.  Sewing spatz.  Panic.  Banter.  Nausea.  Coffee.  Coffee.  Coffee.  Caffeine crash.  Backwards.  Leg day.  Sore like never before.  Still irritation.  Brevity.

Taking Shortcuts and False Solutions.

Hopeful. Hopeless. Moving on. Letting go. Rewind. Falling back. Take a breath. Leave me alone. Stay with me. Crash. Fall apart. Crack. Heal. Cry a little. Get angry. Calm. Breaking down. Confidence. Self-doubt. Fighter. Wave the white flag. Snoop. Stop. Go. Move? Stay. Strengthen resolve. Give up. It's for the better. Why does it happen like this? It's not okay. Fight back, fight back, fight back. Get annoyed. Distractions. Disappear for a while. Lose yourself in words. Read. Write. Cry. Scream. Laugh. High heels. Dinner. Dreaming. Adventure? Wishful thinking. Stress, stress, stress. Sleep away the afternoon. Paper work. Oops. Coffee-addiction returns. Doubt, doubt, doubt. Uncertainty. Smile. Be yourself. But it's hard. Love me. Love yourself. Talk. Listen. Try again. Work hard. Stay true. Laugh. Fall apart. Stand up. Dance. Sing. Write. Keep Smiling. Live. /end